Home Divorce Lawyer What to Ask a Divorce Lawyer at Your First Meeting

What to Ask a Divorce Lawyer at Your First Meeting

What to Ask a Divorce Lawyer at Your First Meeting


Going through a divorce is an incredibly difficult and stressful time for anyone. Emotions run high as relationships dissolve and lives and families change forever.

Making important legal and financial decisions about separating households, child custody agreements, property division, and more can feel overwhelming. That’s where a skilled divorce lawyer can help guide you through the process in a compassionate yet strategic manner.

Your initial consultation with a divorce attorney is a crucial first step as you take control of your situation and chart a path forward. But with so much at stake and on your mind, it can be hard to think clearly about what really matters and what questions need answers.

This extensive guide provides a comprehensive list of insightful questions to ask your divorce lawyer during that vital first meeting. By coming prepared, you can make the most of your time, understand your options fully, and feel empowered to make the best choices for your unique circumstances.

Background and Experience

The lawyer you choose to represent you through divorce proceedings should be highly qualified and have relevant expertise. To evaluate if an attorney is a good fit for your case, begin by learning about their background and experience level. Some key questions include:

  • How long have you been practicing family law? Divorce law, in particular? Look for an attorney with at least 5-10 years of divorce case experience under their belt.
  • Approximately how many divorce cases have you handled? Ask for a rough estimate to get a sense of their volume and experience level.
  • What areas of family law do you specialize in beyond just divorce? Knowing if they also handle related matters like child custody, alimony, property division, etc. is useful.
  • Do you maintain any specialized certifications in divorce or family law? Certifications like board certification demonstrate advanced expertise.
  • May I have references from past divorce clients you have represented? Talking to previous satisfied clients can give valuable insights.

Costs and Fees

One of the most pressing questions facing any potential divorcing client is how much legal representation will cost. Get clear answers about billing practices up front to avoid surprises down the line. Key areas to cover include:

  • What is your hourly rate? Hourly rates can vary widely between attorneys, so know the rate you’ll be charged.
  • Do you offer flat or packaged fees for standard divorce cases? Some offer bundled “one price” packages for no-contest divorces that are simpler.
  • What additional costs beyond your hourly fees should I expect? Things like court filing fees, service of documents, expert witnesses if needed.
  • Do you require an initial retainer and how large will it be? Most lawyers require a retainer up front to be drawn from as work is performed.
  • Under what conditions would the retainer need replenishing? Know if and when more funds may be required as the case progresses.
  • Do you offer payment plan or financing options? Flexible payment terms can help make representation affordable.
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Case Process and Timeline

Divorce cases follow a general legal process but can vary somewhat between jurisdictions and based on contested issues. Understanding the typical progression and timeline helps set realistic expectations. Key questions regarding the process include:

  • What are the basic steps involved in an uncontested divorce? Things like filing, service of papers, property settlement, waiting periods before final decree.
  • How does the process differ for a contested divorce? The extra contested issues and discovery process affect timelines.
  • What is a realistic estimate for an uncontested divorce timeline? Time from initial filing to final decree if issues like property are agreed upon.
  • How long might a contested divorce take? Contested cases over things like asset division or child custody take much longer.
  • At what stages will I likely need to be actively involved? Knowing when appearances or input may be required is important to plan for.

Contested Issues

For some divorces, not all issues can be agreed on amicably. Getting guidance on handling potential contested areas helps determine the strength of your position and likelihood of settling or needing litigation. Key contested issue questions include:

  • How are assets like property typically divided? Equitable distribution or community property state laws play a big role.
  • What factors determine alimony or spousal support eligibility and amounts? Things like length of marriage, income disparity, health, age.
  • How are child custody and visitation arrangements usually decided? Through mediation or does the case typically need to go to trial?
  • If children are involved, what are the state’s best interest factors for custody? Understanding legal criteria improves negotiations.
  • In what situations do contested issues actually go to trial instead of settling? Gauging trial risk level is prudent.
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Communication Policies

Clear policies on availability, response times, and preferred communication methods set proper expectations. Ask about:

  • What is the best way to contact you – phone, email, text? And your response timeline guarantee?
  • Do you offer an online client portal for file access and document sharing? Using technology improves access and organization.
  • Under what scenarios would additional attorney or paralegal fees apply? Like correspondence outside normal business hours.
  • How frequently will you provide me case status updates? Ongoing reports instill confidence in representation.

Strategy and Recommendations

With background established, gauge their strategic advice and initial impressions of your case. Valuable questions include:

  • Based on the information I’ve provided, what is your preliminary analysis of the case/key issues? Flags any immediate concerns.
  • What is your normal litigation strategy versus settlement negotiation approach? Determines their style and if it suits your preferences.
  • At this stage, do you recommend mediation or going straight to litigation? Mediation can avoid battles but not always feasible.
  • What tips or recommendations do you have for me based on your experience? Provides insider advice for the process.
  • Is there any other information I can provide now that would be helpful? Optimizes preparation for formulating a game plan.

By the end of the first consultation, you should have a very good idea if the lawyer is knowledgeable, experienced, and the right fit to handle your unique circumstances.

Coming to that initial meeting prepared with thoughtful questions helps you make an informed choice and sets the right foundation for a strong attorney-client relationship going forward.

Choosing the Right Lawyer

Choosing an attorney is a personal decision highly dependent upon individual communication style preference, available budget, case needs, and confidence level. Here are some additional factors to weigh carefully when deciding between potential choices:

Experience Level

While any licensed family attorney can handle a basic divorce filing, those with 10+ years and several hundred cases under their belt will be better equipped to tackle nuanced issues. Complex asset divisions, serious custody battles or contested alimony demands require seasoned veterans.

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Certifications and Specializations

Some states offer voluntary certifications demonstrating divorce law expertise through additional testing. Attorneys can also choose to limit their practices solely to family and divorce law rather than having a general civil litigation practice. Look for these indicators of focus.

Client Reviews and Referrals

Positive online reviews and personal recommendations from trusted sources hold weight. They provide a glimpse into real client satisfaction, professionalism, communication style and conflict resolution abilities outside of a lawyer’s own marketing.

Retainer and Billing Policies

Upfront costs and hourly rates can vary significantly between even highly qualified attorneys. Determine not just affordability but also clarity on additional fees, payment schedules and options that meet your budget needs long-term.

Personal Comfort Level

For a role requiring confidence and trusting one’s judgment, selecting someone you feel easy communicating and collaborating with at a stressful time is important. First impressions matter – pursue your gut feeling.

Litigation vs Settlement Posture

Some lawyers aggressively push litigation solutions over cheaper alternatives, while others exhaust all negotiation attempts first. Understand your lawyer’s typical approach to advising on when to push versus settle issues.

Making the effort to thoroughly vet candidates through both research and multiple initial consultations pays dividends in navigating your divorce case strategically and feeling supported throughout a difficult process. Asking thoughtful questions ensures finding the best match to help you make well-informed decisions every step of the way.


Going through a divorce is never easy, but having the right legal guidance can alleviate a tremendous amount of stress.

By coming to your first meeting with a divorce lawyer fully prepared with insightful questions on their background, experience, fees, communication policies, litigation strategies and recommendations based on your case – you empower yourself to find the best advocate for your situation.

Choosing a lawyer is a personal choice, so pursue consultation options until you feel confident you’ve selected a compatible attorney equipped to aid your journey through this challenging period of life.


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