Home Marriage How To Get Your Husband To Love You (For Real)

How To Get Your Husband To Love You (For Real)


Marriage is challenging and relationships take work. If you feel your husband doesn’t love you as much as he used to or may be drifting apart emotionally, you’re not alone. Many couples struggle with developing deeper levels of intimacy in long-term relationships.

The good news is there are proven strategies you can implement based on research from psychology experts to rekindle passion and feelings of connection. In this post, we’ll outline 7 actionable steps backed by science to help your husband fall in love with you all over again.

Understand Love Languages and Yours/His

One of the most influential relationship concepts developed is the idea of love languages. Simply put – people experience and express love in 5 main ways. Recognizing your primary love languages and your partner’s can transform how you connect.

The 5 love languages are:

Words of Affirmation – Expressing love through compliments, words, notes etc.

Quality Time – Undivided attention and engaging together meaningfully.

Acts of Service – Assisting your partner through tasks and chores.

Receiving Gifts – Thoughtful gestures and gifts as a symbol of affection.

Physical Touch – Non-sexual gestures like holding hands, hugging, back rubs etc.

Your love language may be totally different than your husband’s. Meet each other’s emotional needs by speaking their language more frequently. Learn both of your love languages and start making a conscious effort to meet each other where you connect best.

Express Your Gratitude Often

Making your spouse feel genuinely appreciated is a powerful way to deepen affection and closeness. Expressing gratitude regularly through words of affirmation or thoughtful notes connects partners on an emotional level and counteracts the effects of taking each other for granted over time.

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Psychologists have found that grateful people are happier, less depressed and make better romantic partners compared to those who aren’t in the habit of gratitude. Make it a daily priority to thank your husband specifically for things he does as well as traits and qualities you appreciate. This creates a positive feedback loop where partners better meet each other’s needs.

Initiate physical intimacy non-sexually

Beyond having great sex – which of course cements intimacy – make non-sexual physical touch a regular habit. Hugging, kissing, massages and affectionate gestures build emotional bonds through touch.

Studies show couples who engage in non-sexual physical intimacy like holding hands or cuddling report being happier within their relationships. Initiating platonic physical contact reminds your husband of your emotional closeness when you were first falling in love. Get inventive too – surprise him with a shoulder rub after work or take a shower together without expecting sex.

Respect your husband’s individuality

While togetherness is important, giving each other space respects your uniqueness beyond identities as partners. Continue nurturing your own interests, hobbies and time with others. Having separate lives makes the quality time you do spend even more meaningful.

Avoid seeing your husband as an extension of yourself versus an independent person with his own wants, needs and goals. Appreciating differences is key, not judging or trying to change each other. Respect strengthens trust and independence – healthy qualities for long term partnerships to flourish.

Try new experiences together

Doing novel activities releases dopamine in the brain linked to excitement and pleasure. Plan regular adventures together that spark childlike curiosity and provide opportunities to bond outside your regular routine.

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Some ideas include hiking new trails, cooking unfamiliar recipes together, taking local art or cooking classes, spontaneous weekend road trips or exploring a new neighborhood. Expanding comfort zones by sharing fresh experiences triggers the same neurochemicals involved in falling in love initially. The key is doing new things together regularly to cultivate that spark of newness in your relationship.

Communicate through quality conversations

Too often spouses drift apart because they stop fully listening to each other. Stay connected mentally, emotionally and spiritually by regularly having deep, meaningful conversations just the two of you.

According to research, fostering understanding is a primary factor keeping relationships strong over the long haul. Check-in regularly regarding each other’s thoughts, feelings and personal growth. Share hopes, dreams, doubts and fears to deepen intimacy through vulnerability.

Quality conversations require putting away devices, maintaining eye contact and asking thoughtful follow up questions versus giving advice or judgment. Listening is just as important as speaking your truth. Framing dialogues with empathy, sincerity and comprehension nurtures true partnership.

Spend time apart doing self-care

Independently taking care of your own emotional, physical and mental well-being makes you a happier, more balanced partner better equipped to bring your whole self to the relationship.

Ensuring me-time weekly or bi-weekly pursing hobbies, recharging solo or with other friends prevents codependency and resentment from building up over time. You’ll miss each other in a healthy way and come together even more energized.

Things like exercising, meditating, journaling, getting massages or doing hobbies like painting provide an emotional reset and space to process experiences solo. Self-care ultimately strengthens your foundation as separate individuals within the bond you share.

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Intentionally seduce your husband

Romance expert John Gottman stresses the importance of maintaining a fondness and admiration that first attracted you to each other. Rekindling that spark involves thoughtfully seducing your partner on multiple levels.

Psych up your confidence and seek to unravel your husband anew through playful banter, lingering eye contact, flirtatious touches and initiating sex when feelings of passion arise naturally versus obligation.

Appreciate him for who he is versus roles or duties. Compliment traits you’re still attracted to and revisit moments of early dating that made you swoon. Engage all five senses through sentimental date nights, favorite meals, flowers or love notes left strategically.

Making your husband feel desired taps into primal emotional needs. Seduction builds anticipation and draws you closer physically, mentally and emotionally over time.


Relationships take conscious effort, understanding and work. But implementing realistic, scientifically-backed strategies can absolutely help get your husband to love you in healthy, sustainable ways. Approaching each other with empathy, appreciation and respect combined with intentional efforts to nurture connection, build intimacy and maintain independence sets partnerships up for long term success.

Focus on meeting your husband’s most fundamental relationship needs by speaking his primary love language daily. Express gratitude frequently for who he is and what he brings to your life together. Ignite sparks of passion through quality time, novelty, vulnerability and playful seduction.



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