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Dealing with Empty Nest Syndrome

Dealing with Empty Nest Syndrome

Empty nest syndrome, also known as post-parental syndrome, occurs when children leave home for college, military service, marriage, or independent living. It describes the emotional and sometimes physical response that parents experience when their children leave home. While it is a normal transition in parenthood, dealing with empty nest syndrome can be challenging and require some adjustments.

This blog post aims to inform and educate readers on understanding and coping with empty nest syndrome through defining the concept, explaining common symptoms, providing coping strategies, and offering additional support resources.

Defining Empty Nest Syndrome

Empty nest syndrome is a descriptive term, not an official diagnosis. It refers to the feelings of loss, sadness, disappointment, and change that parents may experience once their children are grown and leave home. The term “empty nest syndrome” was coined by Dr. Dorothy Rapoport in the 1960s to describe this transition period in a family’s life cycle.

Some key points about empty nest syndrome include:

  • It is a normal psychological and emotional adjustment for parents as their parental role changes with children gaining independence.
  • It typically occurs after the last child leaves home, whether for college, military, marriage, or independent living arrangements.
  • Feeling a sense of loss of purpose is common since parenting has been a central focus and identity for years.
  • Emotional upheaval mirrors the emptying of the house, resulting in loneliness, isolation, or feelings of uselessness.
  • Reactions vary, but detachment, grief, anxiety, and depression are potential symptoms of dealing with this change.
  • The intensity and duration of symptoms depend on individual, familial, and cultural factors unique to each family.

Overall, empty nest syndrome signifies the difficult psychological and emotional process of adapting to a new chapter in life without children living at home full-time. Understanding what causes it is the first step in coping effectively.

Common Symptoms of Empty Nest Syndrome

While empty nest syndrome affects different parents in varying degrees, some common symptoms experienced include:

Sadness and grief – Parents may feel sad, weepy or depressed as they mourn the loss of their parenting role and daily contact with their children. Nostalgia for past family routines is normal.

Loneliness and boredom – An empty home leaves parents feeling lonely or isolated without children around to interact with regularly. Uncertainty about how to fill the extra free time can breed boredom.

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Anxiety and worry – Letting go can cause parents to feel anxious about their children’s well-being or worrying if they are making the right choices. Safety and protection were parental duties that must now be relinquished.

Loss of identity and purpose – Parenting provided a strong sense of purpose and identity for years. Without children at home, parents may feel a loss of this or question what their new role should be.

Difficulty adjusting to solitude – After years of commotion with children, some parents struggle adapting to a quieter home without the regular noise and activity of kids.

Irritability and mood swings – Feeling out of sorts due to the significant changes can manifest as irritability, moodiness, or outbursts of emotion.

Sleep issues – Worry or anxiety over children being away can disrupt sleep patterns. Parents may find it hard to relax without the comforting presence of kids at home.

If intense or long-lasting, these symptoms should not be ignored. Effective strategies, professional help, and support groups can aid in making the adjustment period more manageable.

Coping with Empty Nest Syndrome

Dealing with empty nest syndrome is an individual process. What works for one parent may not for another. However, there are certain healthy coping mechanisms that can help make the transition smoother:

Acknowledge feelings: Accept that emptiness, sadness, and change are normal emotions. Give yourself permission to feel them without judging.

Communicate with children: Keep in touch through phone calls, video chats, texts, and visits. Ask them about their lives to stay actively involved from a distance.

Pursue personal interests: Rediscover hobbies or pursuits dropped while parenting. Join exercise classes, craft or book clubs to socialize and find meaning.

Connect with friends: Lean on close relationships, catch up with friends you may have neglected during busy parenting years. Arrange get-togethers or activities.

Travel more: Consider short solo trips or longer vacations with a partner now that you have fewer scheduling constraints. Broaden your horizons.

Spend more quality time with a partner: Rekindle intimacy, go on regular dates to strengthen the marital bond at this life stage.

Volunteer in the community: Look for fulfilling ways to give back through causes you care about. Helping others can counter feelings of uselessness.

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Try a part-time job or coursework: A bit of work outside the home introduces structure and distraction from empty thoughts.

Seek counseling: If low mood persists, professional therapy provides objective guidance to cope effectively instead of dwelling in sadness alone.

Join a support group: Connecting with others navigating the same transition reassures you are not alone and sparks strategies from shared experiences.

With time and effort, activities help parents adapt to new roles, find fulfillment independently, and eventually adjust fully to an empty nest. It is a challenging but normal phase of the parenting cycle.

When is it Time for Professional Help?

For most parents, empty nest syndrome feelings are short-lived and eased through positive coping strategies on their own or with family support. However, if symptoms persist for several months or severely impact daily functioning, it may indicate a more serious emotional issue requiring professional help.

Some signs it’s time to seek a mental health evaluation and therapy include:

  • Ongoing sadness, lack of interest in activities, withdrawal from social contact, isolation.
  • Inability to function at work or home due to disinterest, decreased concentration, lack of motivation.
  • Excessive worry about children to the point of interfering significantly with daily life.
  • Extreme anger, irritability or mood swings not explained by day-to-day stressors.
  • Thoughts of harming oneself or feeling like life is not worth living.
  • Abusing alcohol, prescription medications or recreational drugs to self-medicate intense feelings.
  • Problems in relationships with family members due to emotional reactivity.
  • Continuing to feel worse instead of better over time despite efforts to implement positive coping strategies for months.

Counseling can help parents process emotions in a supportive setting, gain perspective, challenge irrational thoughts, and devise healthier ways of adjusting to the changes. A therapist can assess for underlying depression or anxiety disorders and provide treatment through psychotherapy, skills training or medications if needed.

Making lifestyle and mindset shifts takes time with practice, but professional help fast-tracks healing from empty nest syndrome for those struggling greatly on an emotional level. The goal is to reach acceptance and find fulfillment again.

Additional Resources

For parents dealing with the normal yet difficult transition of empty nest syndrome, below are some extra resources that may aid the adjustment period:

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Online support forums: Joining an anonymous message board to share experiences alleviates the feeling of being alone and sparks more ideas to try.

Books: Helpful self-help guides provide context, normalize struggles, and outline specific strategies. Some include “The Empty Nest Syndrome: Coping with 18 Years of Highs and Lows at Home” and “The Empty Nest: Parenting Your Parents in the 21st Century.”

Seminars or workshops: Community education classes give a space to openly discuss the challenges along with expert guidance from licensed psychologists.

Family counseling: Joining a child in some counseling sessions reassures parents of their adult kid’s well-being and shifts the topic of conversation from parenting advice to mutual support.

Empty nest retreats: Structured weekend getaways centered around the emotional stage support constructive discussion in a tranquil setting away from distractions.

Volunteering with other empty nest families: Jointly assisting those in need fosters empathy, purpose and social connections through shared experiences at this stage of life.

Spiritual community: Finding solace through religious activities or meditation can help develop resilience through faith and mindfulness practices.

The emotional rollercoaster may last some months as parents adjust to life without children at home full-time. Over time, accepting the transition paired with positive coping paves the way to discovering fulfillment in new chapters ahead. Reaching out removes isolation and expedites healthy adaptation during empty nest syndrome.


Empty nest syndrome represents a monumental transition in the family life cycle as children gain independence and leave the nest. While the emotions elicited may seem irrational or exaggerated at times, it is completely normal for parents to experience feelings of emptiness, sadness, loneliness or purposelessness.

The key here is recognizing symptoms as valid, giving oneself permission to feel them, and consciously implementing strategies that facilitate adaptation to changes over the long term.

Effective coping includes maintaining strong connections to children through continued involvement in their lives from afar, nurturing relationships, pursuing fulfilling activities, counseling support if needed, and ultimately embracing the next growth stage.

With time and positive effort, parents can come to appreciate the freedom and opportunities that come with an empty nest while still feeling pride and attachment to their adult offspring.


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