Home Relationship 8 Signs You’re In A Situationship

8 Signs You’re In A Situationship


Like it or not, situationships have become increasingly common in today’s dating world. A situationship describes an ambiguous relationship that is more than just casually dating or hooking up, but isn’t officially defined as exclusive. Situationships can leave those involved confused about the status and future of the relationship.

While situationships may seem harmless at first, they often come with emotional consequences when one person catches stronger feelings than the other. Regularly encountering situationships can also negatively impact your dating life and ability to find a true partner.

In this post, I will break down 8 common signs that you may currently be in a situationship rather than a traditional relationship. Understanding where you stand can help you take steps to either define the relationship or choose to end it if you want different things.

Let’s jump right in and explore how to identify a situationship.

1. You Only See Each Other Intermittently

One clear sign of a situationship is irregular or infrequent contact and meetups. While early dating stages tend to be casual, situationships remain inconsistent even long-term.

You find yourself only seeing the other person once a week, every other week, or sometimes going 10 days or more without contact. Plans are often last minute and rescheduled. This fuels uncertainty about their level of interest and priorities.

Traditional relationships involve scheduled regular dates, even if busy. Partners make consistent efforts to maintain close communication and see each other frequently, even if just for brief visits, calls or virtual hangouts. Situationships lack this regularity and investment of time together.

2. There’s No Commitment to the Future

Situationships keep both parties uncommitted and able to easily walk away if a better option comes along. Asking where the relationship may lead is met with avoidance or claims it’s “too soon to tell.”

Real relationships involve conversations about shared values, long-term compatibility and compromise and what both want for the future – whether marriage, cohabitation or simply monogamy. Partners work as a team toward common goals that create stability within the relationship structure.

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Situationships lack this sense of solid foundation and future-planning. There are no steps taken to deepen the bond or integrate each other into long-range life stages. This open-ended uncertainty is a hallmark of a situationship.

3. Communication is Shallow and Sporadic

Because situationships steer clear of emotional depth or vulnerability, communication remains surface level discussing trivial daily happenings but not inner thoughts and feelings.

Conversations lack frequency, resonance and ability to understand each other fully. Texting may be sporadic with long gaps between responses. Phone calls are rare. Deeper communication is replaced by intermittent superficial exchanges leaving each party feeling slightly detached from the other.

Traditional couples make communication a priority. They devote regular quality time together both online and in-person exchanging thoughts and listening non-judgmentally providing empathy, advice and emotional support as needed to strengthen intimacy.

4. Boundaries Remain Blurred

Situationships play with blurred lines keeping interactions confusing rather than clearly defined. One minute the person seems into it and the next they’ve pulled away. Dates feel casual and unplanned without cues on appropriate PDA levels.

Real relationships involve having open yet respectful conversations to set agreed-upon expectations and establish boundaries bringing clarity, safety and comfort. Couples know where they stand in terms of commitment levels, faithfulness and other relationship domains providing structure and predictability.

Situationships lack this structure instead leaving room for misinterpretation, hurt feelings and distrust. Those involved feel unclear on “what are we” unsure if it will progress or fizzle with unresolved doubts casting shadows. Blurred boundaries signal a situationship.

5. Introducing to Friends/Family is Rare

When you’ve been seeing someone for months but their closest friends and family members know nothing about you, that’s a red flag. Real relationships involve an eagerness to share about each other with important people in our lives demonstrating pride and commitment.

Partners spend time together with friends and introduce each other online and in person. They attend events together bringing familiarity and acceptance within both social circles. Situationships keep those involved detached from these deeper circles maintaining independence without fully meshing lives.

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Introductions reflect the desire to integrate into each other’s worlds over the long-run. Their absence suggests a lack of investment and intimacy present in situationships without such efforts to build a shared social foundation.

6. Conflicts Remain Unsolved

In situationships, conflicts are often ignored, minimized or go unresolved leaving lingering annoyances and tensions. Couples avoid heavy conversations maintaining a superficial pleasant persona while disconnecting from deeper truths and issues important to address.

Committed relationships involve both people actively listening without judgment, expressing feelings respectfully, compromising and problem-solving as a team through challenges using conflicts as opportunities for improvement and growth. Solve one issue, and stronger trust and understanding emerge bringing partners closer.

Left unsolved, unexpressed conflicts undermine connection and respect allowing resentment to build over time corroding the bond. Situationships regularly sweep difficulties under the rug avoiding vulnerability and disagreement resolution essential to healthy relationships.

7. Emotional Intimacy Feels Restricted

Authentic emotional intimacy requires vulnerability, comfort opening up fully without fear of judgment and security the other cares deeply for your wellbeing, success and happiness.

Situationships reject deeper emotional connectedness discussing personal issues or daily struggles limitedly if at all. They steer conversations positive and casual avoiding showing “too much” emotion or need.

Real partners devote effort cultivating empathy sharing hopes, fears and personal wins/challenges while also uplifting each other during hard times. They make space to express feelings fully, appreciate each other’s character strengths and bring positive influence as soulmates.

Lacking this intimacy signals a situationship with partners keeping parts of themselves hidden and detached emotionally rather than fully invested soul-to-soul as in healthy relationships.

8. You Feel Unfulfilled

At their core, situationships provide temporary joy and distraction without fulfilling major relationship needs for stability, trust, companionship or emotional intimacy over the long-term. Like an empty calorie snack without nutritional value, they leave those involved still craving more.

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After time, situationships lack substance to fulfill what we deeply desire – another person fully committed as our life partner enhancing our journey every day. Feeling unfulfilled and that something important is missing suggests your connection has not grown into a true relationship.

What Now? Take Action!

If two or more of these signs ring true, you likely have a situationship on your hands rather than a committed relationship. The good news – you have power to shape the connection into something healthy or choose a new path toward your goals. Here are three recommendations:

Communicate Your Feelings Honestly – Have a vulnerable yet respectful talk about seeing a potential future together or simply remaining casual. Ask about their intentions. Conflict is healthy when resolving confusion. It shows courage and care for self plus the connection.

Suggest a Trial Commitment Period – Propose spending set time only with each other to test compatibility and build intimacy seeing if romance can blossom from there. Give it your all while still maintaining independence if it does not work out. Win-win approach providing clarity and a real shot at the dreams that brought you together initially before fully investing long-term.

Take Time to Heal and Move Forward – If you want a solid partnership and they do not, accept the situationship’s limits with grace. Close this chapter, reflect on lessons learned then redirect energy to other priorities and potential mates also seeking a nurturing relationship rather than ambiguity. Your wellbeing must come first.

The choices are yours. Stay true to yourself, your needs and what experiences will make you happiest while also treating any connections and people involved with empathy, wisdom and care. Relationships take courage and compromise, but finding fulfilling love is so worthwhile. You’ve got this!


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